Dave Mattingly 4:36 pm on January 21, 2016

All Things to All Men

I’m a Christian, and sometimes a teacher/preacher.

Here’s a look at how we can reach other people, by using Paul’s visit to the Areopagus as an example.

“We’re on a mission from God.” (The Blues Brothers All Things to All Men)

All Things to All Men

I have become all things to all men so that by any means some may be saved. (1 Corinthians 9:22)

Paul used his life as a means to reach others for Christ.

“Make me one with everything.” (Zen Buddhist to the hot dog vendor)

Travel

Paul then stood up in the middle of the Areopagus… (Acts 17:22)

“Slick” Willie Sutton robbed banks. Why? Because that’s where the money was.

Why did Paul go to the Areopagus? That’s where the Greeks were.

“No matter where you go, there you are.” (Buckaroo Banzai)

Harmony

“People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious.” (Acts 17:22)

Paul looked for common ground. He didn’t agree with a lot of their culture and practices, but he found something that he could use as an anchor to start that relationship.

“When I fall back down, you’re gonna help me back up again.” (Rancid)

Interaction

“For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship…” (Acts 17:23)

Paul didn’t walk into the situation cold; he learned what he could about the people and the place. Sun Tzu advised us to know our enemy. How much more, then, should we know our potential friends?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” (Ferris Bueller)

Need

“I even found an altar to an unknown god. You are ignorant of the very thing you worship.” (Acts 17:23)

It’s a lot easier for us to listen to a new idea if we first realize that we have a problem that this idea can address. Sales teams often talk about finding out the pain point of your prospect. Paul found the altar for the unknown god because the Greeks suspected there was someone they missed.

“I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.” (Christopher Walken)

Gospel

“This is what I am going to proclaim to you.” (Acts 17:23)

Paul shared the good news in the way that they were most comfortable with. As a group of philosophers, they loved lectures and debates. It’s up to us to reach our own audience in the best way we can.

“Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” (Inigo Montoyta)

Shepherd

Some of them sneered, but others became followers and believed. (Acts 17:34)

Paul helped those interested in taking the next step. He invited them on his journey, and spent time teaching them, as he planted churches throughout the region.

“Don’t lead me, I may not follow. Don’t follow, I may not lead. Just leave me the heck alone.” (Albert Camut, not really)

Mentality

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7)

We all have many aspects of who we are inside. Our temperaments, spiritual gifts, psychological makeup, love languages as more. We can use our strengths and even our weaknesses to reach others.

“I yam what I yam, and that’s all what I yam.” (Popeye the Sailor Man)

Experience

Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. (Luke 25:2)

We all have life experience that we can draw on to get to know others. Our school, job, travel; our favorite books, movies, music, art, sports, and games; celebrations and even sorrows. Life doesn’t happen in a vacuum; ours or anyone else’s.

“Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.” (Randy Pausch)

Network

Jesus said to them, “You will be my witnesses to all the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8)

You know people that I don’t know, and vice versa. We meet people at our neighborhoods, schools, churches, jobs, and events. Everyone we meet is a beloved child of God Almighty, and needs him just as much as we do.

We’re all six degrees from Kevin Bacon.

Summary

Paul’s approach can help us to be all THINGS, and using our backgrounds can help us reach all MEN.

T – Travel
H – Harmony
I – Interaction
N – Need
G – Gospel
S – Shepherd

M – Mentality
E – Experience
N – Network

Download

Download the PowerPoint.

Dave Mattingly 2:16 pm on January 20, 2016

Spatial Data, Part 1: Introduction

One of my favorite things about SQL is spatial data.

By using the datatypes geography and geometry, we can learn things about the facts and figures that we’re looking though that we might not have noticed without mapping.

Here are some of the basics of how to look at spatial data. Once we’ve gone through these building blocks, we’ll look at some of the things we can do with it.

This is part one in a series:

Introduction

Now, let’s kick the tires and see what spatial data is about.

1. Geospatial Data

select state, geom, geom.ToString() geomtext from us_stateshapes

This command selects the field called geom, which is of data type geometry. It also selects the geom field in string format.

The string results are shown as polygons and multipolygons.

Next to the Results tab is a Spatial Results tab.

Right there in SQL Server Management Studio (SSMS), we see a picture of the US!

Clicking the Label Column adds the state abbreviation to the map as well, and the Grid Lines checkbox toggles whether or not the latitude and longitude lines are visible.

2. Where Clause

select state, geom from us_stateshapes where state not in (‘AK’,‘HI’)

Since this is just a T-SQL statement, you can exclude some states or show only specific ones.

select state, geom from us_stateshapes where state = 'KY'

3. Combine Shapes

select geometry::UnionAggregate(geom) from us_stateshapes where state not in ('AK','HI')

All of the states can be combined into a single shape by using the UnionAggregate function.

Now it doesn’t quite look like a rainbow vomited onto the map.

4. Combine Shapes with Outlines

select geometry::CollectionAggregate(geom) from us_stateshapes where state not in ('AK','HI')

The outlines of each state can be retained by using the CollectionAggregate instead.

5. Highlight a State

select geometry::UnionAggregate(geom)
from us_stateshapes
where state not in ('AK','HI','KY')
union all
select geom from us_stateshapes where state = 'KY'

By filtering out a state and aggregating the rest of the country into a single color, then unioning that missing state back in, we can essentially change that state’s color.

6. County Detail

select geometry::CollectionAggregate(geom)
from ky_counties

“Zooming in” a bit, and reading from the counties table, we can see all the counties in Kentucky.

It’s just as easy to highlight a county, with or without the other counties being outlined.

select geom
from us_stateshapes
where state = 'KY'
union all
select geom
from ky_counties
where id = 24

9. Life is a Highway

select s.geom from us_stateshapes s where s.state = 'KY'
union all
select geometry::CollectionAggregate(i.geom) from us_stateshapes s
left outer join ky_interstates i on 1=1
where s.state = 'KY' and i.geom.STIntersects(s.geom) = 1

Need to find your way around? Add the interstates to the map.

8. Zip Codes

select geom
from ky_counties
where id = 24
union all
select geometry::CollectionAggregate(geom)
from ky_zip

Zooming in a bit more, here are the zip codes within Jefferson County.

They’re a lot more… disjointed than I expected them to be.

9. Bubbleland

select geom.STIntersection(geometry::Point(-89.5,36.53,0).STBuffer(.3))
from us_stateshapes
where state in ('ky','tn','mo') 
union all 
select geom.STBoundary().STIntersection(geometry::Point(-89.5,36.53,0).STBuffer(.3)).STBuffer(.005)
from us_stateshapes
where state in ('ky','mo')

Here’s a strange place in Kentucky…

Bubbleland, as it’s been nicknamed, is a place in Kentucky that can only be accessed (by land) from Tennessee.

You can read more about Bubbleland here.

In the next post, we’ll look at local roads and buildings.

Downloads

Here’s the Excel file with the scripts to create and load the road and building tables.

Dave Mattingly 8:21 am on January 19, 2016

New Wave

Back when I was a DJ at WLCV radio, on the air I was known as “New Wave Dave.”

Here are some of my favorite new wave bands, with the genre being somewhat fluid (new wave, post-punk, synth-pop, ska, pre-industrial, and others).

These are “my” bands. The bands that helped shape who I am, roughly in order of how much they mean to me.

Dave Mattingly: The Musical, Part 1

Men Without Hats
- Known For: Safety Dance
- Memories: This is the band for me. I founded their fan club back in the ’80s. It’s morphed a bit over the years, but the fan club is still moving on. I still listen to the band all the time. The band has kept on going, with their latest album (Men Without Hats Again Part 1) came out in 2021, with another on the way. I believe I own everything they’ve ever done, including lots of rarities.
- Favorite Songs: Security, Where Do the Boys Go, I Know Their Name, Here Come the ’90s, I’m in Love, Sideways, Love All Over the World, Love in the Age of War, Tomorrow Never Comes, Forever, Mote in God’s Eye, 2000 Light Years from Home, All Into Stars

Depeche Mode
- Known For: People are People
- Memories: I still prefer the acoustic version of Personal Jesus, which I heard long before the album version. It was mailed to the radio station without any information – no artist, title, or anything else. We made up a name (The Flaming Doo-Doo Balls, if I remember right), and played it on the air for at least a year before the Violator album came out.
- Favorite Songs: Photographic, Ice Machine, New Life, See You, Everything Counts, Dream On

INXS
- Known For: Need You Tonight
- Memories: INXS was (I think) the first concert I ever went to. They also blended a variety of musical styles, from rock to pop to soul. Their introspective side delved into the human condition, and really reached me. The (former) singer Michael Hutchence even has a cameo in my favorite Frankenstein movie.
- Favorite Songs: On a Bus, Just Keep Walking, The One Thing, Don’t Change, Dancing on the Jetty, Johnson’s Aeroplane, Burn for You, New Sensation, Disappear

Eurythmics
- Known For: Sweet Dreams
- Memories: Oh, I had such an Annie Lennox crush as a youngster. I even buzzed my hair and dyed it orange. Her vocal range and grasp of genre and style is amazing. On her (solo) “Medusa” album, Annie sings nothing but cover songs, and they come out beautifully.
- Favorite Songs: I Did It Just the Same, Greetings from a Dead Man, Doubleplusgood, Julia, Beethoven (I Love to Listen To), I Need You, Train in Vain

Duran Duran
- Known For: Rio
- Memories: Champions of the new romantic movement, it’s Duran Duran’s contemplative side that most appeals to me. “New Religion” has a subtitle of “a Dialogue Between The Ego And The Alter Ego.” And, they certainly knew how to work the camera — the fledgling MTV, that is.
- Favorite Songs: Planet Earth, Waiting for the Night Boat, Lonely in Your Nightmare, New Religion, Last Chance on the Stairway

King
- Known For: Love and Pride
- Memories: King’s “Unity Song” helps get me through times that I doubt myself. They can come up with some odd titles and lyrics – “I Kissed the Spikey Fridge” being a prime example. It was years before I realized that 2 M. B. was about T. Rex’s Marc Bolan.
- Favorite Songs: Unity Song, I Kissed the Spiky Fridge, 2 M.B., Ain’t No Doubt, Taste of Your Tears, Torture

Madness
- Known For: Our House
- Memories: Originally called the Nutty Boys, Madness kept the playful goofiness in most of their music over the years. Their full horn section allowed them to provide more of a ska beat than many of their contemporaries. The band’s chemistry made them seem like a family.
- Favorite Songs: Night Boat to Cairo, House of Fun, One Step Beyond, Cardiac Arrest, It Must be Love, Blue Skinned Beast, Uncle Sam

Devo
- Known For: Whip It
- Memories: What can you say about Devo? They set the standard for nonconformity, as oxymoronic as that is. They fought against expectations, and pushed the envelope musically while they did it. Mark Mothersbaugh’s vocal chords can produce some chilling noises. Are we not men?
- Favorite Songs: Mongoloid, Girl U Want, Working in a Coal Mine, Freedom of Choice, Post-Post Modern Man, Watch Us Work It

Pearl Harbour and the Explosions
- Known For: Drivin’
- Memories: Pearl Harbour’s music is built from infectious fun, with a rockabilly twist. I wish I could find a good music video of their song Flirt, which has long been my favorite of theirs.
- Favorite Songs: Flirt, Fujiyama Mama, Shut Up and Dance

Talking Heads
- Known For: Once in a Lifetime
- Memories: Talking Heads has always been a good band, but what really sent them over the top for me is their movie True Stories, in which they have a bunch of quirky characters from a small Texas town sing the songs instead of the band. Highly recommended.
- Favorite Songs: Life During Wartime, Road to Nowhere, And She Was, Stay Up Late, Hey Now, Puzzlin’ Evidence, Papa Legba

Nik Kershaw
- Known For: Wouldn’t It be Good
- Memories: Nik’s imaginative video for Wouldn’t It Be Good caught my eye initially, but it was the meaning behind his songs that kept me coming back. A lot of the songs on his Human Racing album got deep. I used to wear a “Nik” button on my jacket when I worked down in Florida, and found out that a friend I wouldn’t have expected was also a fan.
- Favorite Songs: Don Quixote, Shame on You, Gone to Pieces, Faces

Tears for Fears
- Known For: Shout
- Memories: The band’s Jungian background comes through in much of their music, making it great for contemplation and reflection.
- Favorite Songs: Mad World, Pale Shelter, Change, Head Over Heels, Sowing the Seeds of Love

Runners Up: Thomas Dolby, ABC, B-52’s, Trio, Book of Love, Love and Rockets / Tones on Tail, The Cars, Happyhead, Woodentops, Primitives, Howard Jones

Go back to Part 0: Louisville Music, or read on for Part 2: Quirky Music

Dave Mattingly 12:01 pm on January 14, 2016

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

As a followup to Let All Creation Rejoice, which focused on how amazing the universe is, this takes us a little closer to home — to our own bodies.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

Individuality

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Luke 12:7)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13)

Meaning

“Bring to me all the people who are mine, whom I made for my glory, whom I formed and made.” (Isaiah 43:7)

“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit. (John 15:16)

Authority

God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

You made mankind rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet. (Psalm 8:6)

God said, “…Fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish… and the birds… and every living creature.” (Genesis 1:28)

Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 18:18)

Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

Therefore, angels are only servants—spirits sent to care for those people who will inherit salvation. (Hebrews 1:14)

Don’t you realize that we will judge angels? (1 Corinthians 6:3)

Glory

God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them… Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good. (Genesis 1:27, 31)

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family. (Ephesians 1:4, 5)

When the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Peter 5:4)

Eternity

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

We are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own. (Philemon 3:20-21)

Beloved, I urge you to live as strangers and aliens. (1 Peter 2:11)

Grateful

Let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe. (Hebrews 12:28)

Open

As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” (2 Corinthians 9:9)

Daring

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power. (2 Timothy 1:7)

The Image of God

I – Individuality
M – Meaning
A – Authority
G – Glory
E – Eternity

G – Grateful
O – Open
D – Daring

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Psalm 139:8)

Download the PowerPoint, which includes a bunch of dumb jokes, and also references to Michelangelo, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Evil, Batman, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Doug Larson, Keanu Reeves, Scooby Doo, John F Kennedy, Karl Hurley, A. W. Tozer, Spider-Man, Robert Schuller, Depeche Mode, Olive Garden, Led Zeppelin, Highlander, The Screwtape Letters, the Marx brothers, They Might Be Giants, John Wayne, Steve Martin, and D. L. Moody.

Dave Mattingly 6:35 pm on January 12, 2016

Body of Work – Games

Over the years, I’ve worked on a lot of books.

Here are (I think) all the game books I’ve been a part of, which could mean wrote, edited, formatted, illustrated, designed, or something else.

And some visual products that I’ve been a part of.

Click here to see my full body of work.

Dave Mattingly 11:51 am on January 12, 2016

Body of Work – Fiction/Nonfiction

Over the years, I’ve worked on a lot of books.

Here are (I think) all the novels and non-fiction I’ve published, and sometimes edited or designed the covers for.

Click here to see my full body of work.

Dave Mattingly 11:01 am on January 6, 2016

Special Characters in SQL Server

Databases sometimes get unexpected characters in their data.

If your customer’s name is “José” but you search for “Jose”, you won’t (by default) find him.

Here’s a simple way to take care of that in your SQL database, without changing the data that you have.

select 'áàâãäåāăąćĉċčďđéëêèēĕėęĝğġģĥħìíîïĩīĭįıĵķĺļľłñńņňòóôõöōŏőơŕŗřśŝşšţťŧùúûüũūŭůűųưŵŷźżž'
select 'áàâãäåāăąćĉċčďđéëêèēĕėęĝğġģĥħìíîïĩīĭįıĵķĺļľłñńņňòóôõöōŏőơŕŗřśŝşšţťŧùúûüũūŭůűųưŵŷźżž' Collate SQL_Latin1_General_CP1253_CI_AI

select 'ĥéĺłô ŵòŕľđ' Collate SQL_Latin1_General_CP1253_CI_AI

Using Collate SQL_Latin1_General_CP1253_CI_AI, you can leave all the accents in your data, but still treat it like it’s all made up of “normal” characters.

It’s also great as you’re transferring data from one system to another, if the second system can’t handle those characters because of technology or programming limitations.

Dave Mattingly 8:51 am on January 5, 2016

Meep on the Borderland

What if all of your favorite fantasy movies were remade with Muppets? Arm your felt with broadswords, holy symbols, magic wands, and a ten-foot pole. One does not simply wokka wokka into Mordor.

The Hopalong Kid, played by Kermit, leads the band of rebels known as the Muppy Men. He is joined by Cap’n Swagger and some of his pirate crew, and by Lady Prosciutta and her bodyguard Sir Paragon.

What Is This?

This is for a tabletop roleplaying game called Champions Complete, which is published by Hero Games.

Games like this have been a hobby of mine for decades, and I enjoy mixing up genres (like Muppets + fantasy, or cereal mascots + pulp, or squids + lasers, and such).

If you’d like to play a game of Muppet fantasy yourself, you’ll need the Champions Complete book (or ebook), some handfuls of dice, some players (up to 15), and about four hours.

Theme Song

It’s time to roll the dice now
It’s time for sleight of hand
It’s time to save the kingdom
on the Meeping Borderland

It’s time to grab your weapon
and forcefully expand
It’s time to raise the banner
on the Meeping Borderland

And now let’s get things started
On the most fantastical
un-scholastical
really drastical
quite sarcastical

This is what we call the Muppet game!

The Characters

Kermit: The Hopalong Kid leads the Muppy Men, a group of rebels living in the forest. He believes that all muppets should be free, and fights (politely) against the oppressive monarchy.
Fozzie: Friar Schmuck was climbing his way up the slapstick ladder to his dream job of becoming a professional jester, when he felt god tapping him on the shoulder. He entered ministry, and felt gratified at his new calling, although a life of comedy still frequents his thoughts.
Scooter: Tenderfoot is striving to achieve every merit badge he can. To that end, he’s gaining valuable outdoor experience by serving under Hopalong as his chief reconnaissance agent and gofer.
Sweetums: Fuzz Polearm fell on hard times, and took to marauding travelers on the bridge near his home. When Hopalong defeated him in open combat, he swore loyalty to the only amphibian to ever best him in battle.
Swedish Chef: Meatball used to act as bodyguard and cook to the king, but was fired for an entrée mishap. Disgraced, he fled the palace and joined up with the Muppy Men. He’s happy to be appreciated for his skills, even though they all speak mit der foony eccent.
Dr. Teeth: Bedlam had lost his way, musically. It all started to sound stale. His muse had left him. Then he heard tell of a band of rebels fighting the good fight against oppression, and sought to join their ranks. Now that he has a new cause in his life, his lifeblood music flows freely once more.
Animal: Savage was abandoned in the wilds, and raised by a friendly family of Tasmanian devils. Bedlam “adopted” him onto his travels, when finally they met up with Hopalong and the Muppy Men. Together, they try to teach Savage how to live in civil society. The tough part now is finding a society that actually is civil.
Rowlf: Allegro is a part of nature, and nature is a part of him. He welcomes other nature-loving folk, and made fast friends with Hopalong and his ever-growing band of Muppy Men.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Prodigy was chief alchemist to the palace, until his lab exploded, for which he was blamed. Fearing for his life, he grabbed what gear he could, and fled. Becoming lost in the woods, he smelled the campfire smoke of the Muppy Men, and offered his services in exchange for food and shelter. It’s not the strongest alliance, but it’s worked so far.
Beaker: Jinxalot was born under a curse. His parents took him to witches, doctors, witch doctors, and many other specialists who probed and prodded him relentlessly. Although the curse wasn’t fully lifted, its effects were mitigated through magical and alchemical means, but with a few side effects such as his unintelligible speech. Despite that, Jinxalot showed an affinity for the dark arts, and has studies to become a wizard himself, searching for a cure to his affliction. His search brought him to Allegro, who is trying some natural herbal cures.
Miss Piggy: Lady Prosciutta Honeybake is eleventh in line to be queen, and loves being referred to as Princess. She uses her natural talent for the magical arts to aid her courtly doings. When Hopalong saved her carriage from bandits, she fell madly in love.
Sam: Sir Paragon believes fervently in truth, justice, and the patriotic way. He devotes himself to his country’s and his god’s service and defense. Upon receiving his knighthood, he was assigned as the personal guard for Lady Prosciutta. He doesn’t approve of her romantic choices, and finds himself at odds with his duty to his nation and his station. He helps Hopalong’s group uneasily, as long as they don’t directly act against the realm.
Gonzo the Great: Cap’n Swagger is a notorious pirate who used to raid the king’s longships for stores of root beer. When he attacked a poultry ship, he was appalled by the condition of the chicken slaves, and forged an uneasy alliance with Hopalong’s forest men.
Lew Zealand: Ahab Santiago Cousteau doesn’t usually realize that not everyone is as fascinated by fish as he is. While deep sea fishing, he was pressed into military service by the king’s navy until he was “rescued” by pirates. He came to love the pirate lifestyle and his fellow seafarers and, like Cap’n Swagger, was revolted when he learned that the royal navy bred fish in tanks to feed to livestock.
Crazy Harry: Pompeii was a “made man” – a member of the Muppia organized crime family. Barely surviving an attack on his family, the explosion may have rattled his brains a little more than he realizes. He has gone mercenary, and chosen to use explosives as his weapon of choice, to honor his family. He booked passage on Cap’n Swagger’s pirate ship, believes the Muppy Men can help him find his family’s enemies.

Highlights

Some highlights from times that I’ve run this:

As we were about to sing the theme song, Sam the Eagle’s player got all the other players to “rise for the national anthem.”
Fozzie had to get the gate sentries (Statler and Waldorf) to laugh in order to enter the castle, but couldn’t come up with a second joke that would get them to laugh, so Animal kicked his legs out from under him, which worked.
The Swedish Chef got Sweetums to throw him at the airborne Big Bird, and not only was able to grab hold, but succeeded at multiple Riding checks to stay on his back, hacking away with cleavers as his rode the yellow beast through the air.
Cap’n Swagger disguised himself as a giant fish, convinced that Ahab could then fling him.
To defeat Count von Count, the counting vampire, Pompeii put some dynamite into Friar Schmuck’s holy rubber chicken, when the Hopalong Kid fired as an arrow.

General Plot

Cap’n Swagger’s pirate crew is bringing a shipment of root beer from the Barq islands to his pal Hopalong. Hopalong wants to invite Lady Prosciutta to the party, but has to sneak into the castle because he’s a wanted frog. While there, someone is kidnapped by the flying fuzzy flumphs Klaatu and Barada. Kermit and Piggy they rejoin at the hideout camp to launch a rescue.

Along the way, the team encounters Salsa and Marina, who throw tomatoes with deadly accuracy unless the team agrees to pay a toll to cross their bridge. Once across, Papa Pigba is communing with Luau in service of his evil masters. During battle, Hellmo will spring from his firepit. Shortly (ha!) before or after this, Scampi‘s kobolds will take potshots with tranquilizer blowguns, anticipating an easy meal.

The heroes finally see the haunted ruins across the slime swamp. If they cross through the swamp, they’re attacked by its unnatural guardian Swampalupagus who slowly fades in an out of sight and tangibility. Inside the ruins, they are “greeted” by Crumbles the raging barbarian and his bloodthirsty companion Squawk, who swoops in and out with his deadly talons.

The true threats are the alien flumphs who can lay down the mental whammy with their Yip-Yips, Dr. Jif who can summon and control peanut butter (creamy and crunchy), and the true mastermind Countsferatu.

Download

You can get a copy of the character sheets here.

And the character nameplates here (heroes) and here (villains).

Villains (front, L to R): Papa Pigba the shaman, Hellmo the imp, Scampi and his the kobold tribe, Salsa and Marinara the archers

Villains (middle): Dr. Jif the peanut butter sorceror supreme, Countsferatu the vampire, Crumbles the barbarian, Squawk the gladiator

Villains (back): Klaatu and Barada the flumphs, Luau the fire spirit, Triclops the ettin giant, and Swampalupagus the abberation