I co-wrote the comedy skit stage show Company OutCast‘s Best Bits, a Monty Pythonesque revue and tribute.
They wanted to have a hymn parody, along the lines of the Python’s “All Things Dull and Ugly.” I put together this tour de farce based on “Amazing Grace,” but we ended up not using it in the show.
So here, for your amusement, is a Special Feature — a deleted scene from the show.
A Grazing Mace
A grazing mace twas but a scratch
that struck a knight like me
No man may pass upon this path
for I will smiteth he
A logging place where I could leap
from tree to mighty tree
I like to dress in women’s clothes
and go to the lavat’ry
A squawking face could speak and sing
if he had life like me
Norwegian blue could fly so free
but he has ceased to be
A fighting space lets me behave
I argue with our customers
if they have paid the fee
A walking pace takes me to work
for public ministry
of silly walks and strolls and struts
that are cockamamie
(c) Dave Mattingly, 2019